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Okay maybe I did die!

Nah I just have not blogged much in the last few years. I'm still alive. Twitter, FB, Tumblr are what I use the most through. *shrugs* Not going to abandon LJ it is just laying fallow right now.

I really am not dead...

...but I have not been blogging a ton for a year or more.

Life has kicked me in the ass and then handed me a great thing that I walked away from. Now I'm picking up the pieces and trying to piece them back together as best as I can.

Not horrible but things most deff could be better. More later.

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Suicide Prevention Day Today

Comment on TheBloggess’s post sums it up well.

“Depression lies is a good one! Also, people love you! No matter who you are or what you have done, someone somewhere loves you and would be devastated to lose you. Even if it’s just me who doesn’t even know you but can’t wait to see how your life turns out. ♥ ~Stacy”

Also from PostSecrets founder’s FaceBook post:

“Every 18 minutes, someone dies from a suicide. Every 43 seconds, someone attempts one.” Today is World Suicide Prevention Day :: Call for help or hope 1-800-SUICIDE


Depression fucking lies and the world needs you.




I'm getting help this next week and if you are feeling depressed or stressed like me please reach out and get help. We need you. The world needs you.

Things that help me feel not alone when down.





And yes some is repeated from my depression post.



Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

Hey! Hey! Hey!

I don't like walking around this old and empty house.
So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear

The stairs creak as I sleep,
it's keeping me awake
It's the house telling you to close your eyes

Some days I can't even dress myself.
It's killing me to see you this way.


'Cause though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

There's an old voice in my head
that's holding me back

Well tell her that I miss our little talks.

Soon it will all be over, buried with our past
We used to play outside when we were young
and full of life and full of love.

Some days I feel like I'm wrong when I am right.
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear.


'Cause though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say
Hey!
The screams all sound the same.
Hey!

Though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

You're gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear.
All that's left is a ghost of you.
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
there's nothing we can do,
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon.

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around
I'll see you when I fall asleep.

Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say
Hey!
The screams all sound the same.
Hey!

Though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say
Hey!
The screams all sound the same.
Hey!

Though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore (x3)</center

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Depression - It lies

I've come to a crossroad and the demon there has hitched a ride in my head telling dark stories full of lies. I've learned that every 5 to 6 month I hit a dark wall of depression and after trying to rope it from a thyroid perspective it is time to admit I've drawn the short genetic straw again and have some depressive issues that need addressing. I'm seeking help for this before the demon wears me down and tries to tell me that there is only one short road to fallow. There isn't but that is the yarn he keeps trying to spin. Its a old tale that is boring and with little imaginative flare. He needs some new tricks.

I have a appointment this next month with the my headshrinker that has been working with me on my anxiety and thyroid related emotional crap. Time to sit down and say its time we work on this demon as well. If it gets worse I'll talk about having it moved up. I'm in this for the win not to let some lying shit bag lay me low.


All my cards are out on the table and now it is people's turn to either stay at the table and continue playing this hand with me or pick up and walk out into the dark. I've really rather have you stay and sit a spell talking and laughing and sharing the good times with me on this road of life but I've had several fold, pull back their chairs and walk on. I can't and won't stop them but those that stay make me forever in their debt. We all need friends when the roads get long and the weather bad. This time I ask that you walk a while with me.

Some things that I have been listening to and watching.

Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

Hey! Hey! Hey!

I don't like walking around this old and empty house.
So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear

The stairs creak as I sleep,
it's keeping me awake
It's the house telling you to close your eyes

Some days I can't even dress myself.
It's killing me to see you this way.

'Cause though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

There's an old voice in my head
that's holding me back
Well tell her that I miss our little talks.

Soon it will all be over, buried with our past
We used to play outside when we were young
and full of life and full of love.

Some days I feel like I'm wrong when I am right.
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear.

'Cause though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say
Hey!
The screams all sound the same.
Hey!

Though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

You're gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear.
All that's left is a ghost of you.
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart,
there's nothing we can do,
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon.

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around
I'll see you when I fall asleep.

Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say
Hey!
The screams all sound the same.
Hey!

Though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say
Hey!
The screams all sound the same.
Hey!

Though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore (x3)




And my real life hero The Bloggess talking about depression. God I love this lady!

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I'm alive! ...I think. O.o

I'm so not dead but I've not been as active in blogging for several months. I think I will be trying to update more and more and get back into.

Tod is having another icon day!

Check him out and snag a cool icon! goo.gl/IPHEv Also plz donate cuz Todd is awesome for doing these. :D

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Tod is having another icon day!

Go over there and tip him for an awesome piece of art!

http://djinni.livejournal.com/352028.html?page=4&cut_expand=1#cutid1

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Would you live in the perfect house or apartment rent-free if you found out a brutal murder had taken place there and it was rumored to be haunted? Why or why not?


I've been lurking and reading ONTDcreepy to much since I've asked my brother this question before this came up on LJ.

I'd not like to do it but I would not rule it out. Like 70% no and like 30% maybe/yes. It really depends on how long ago the place had the killing in it and what kind of shit went on during the killing. Also what kind of 'hauntings' are/have been going on. And what kind of word of mouth people know about it and what kind of stories they tell about it. It is kind of a turn off for you to say something like 'Oh lets go back to my place and hang-out or w/e, its 123 Oak Tree lane.' and he is like 'is int that the Smith murder house'. :/

Honestly I don't like the idea since I have a very over active imagination and have since I was a lil kid and this it the kind of stuff that kept me up at night scared. There is just not a night light big enough to have me be completely comfortable with that kind of thing. Also I spend a lot of time alone at my place even thought I live with my brother.

Writer's Block: A night unlike any other

What was the best night of your life so far, and what made it so special?


One of the days that stands out the most was when a very good friend of mine spent the holiday with me and my siblings at the park having a picnic and playing games. Then when it was dark we went back to my house and watched the neighborhood shoot off illegal but awesome fireworks and then we shot off some fireworks. He had never shot fireworks off before so it was neat to doing something with him that he had never done before. Then we stayed outside talking all night about life and all kinds of stuff. He brought up that he had never stayed up all night. Another first for him. Then he drove us up to a road that over looked the valley and we watched the sunrise up over the mountains and into the valley.

One of my favorite days!

Writer's Block: Teenage dream

If you arrived at your front door and saw your first love standing there, what would you do or say?


That is a loaded question with no simple answer. So I'll say it depends on why they are there and what is going on in their live and mine and so on.

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